No matter who you are, we all face difficult times at some point in our lives. Imagine the long-fought promotion that you have been waiting for so long gets snatched from you. And you have been told that you are just not good enough for the job. What do you then? You wanted to open your own business and applied for a loan; you were certain that you would get it. How could you not? Overcoming adversity by no means is easy. But there are steps that you can take to manage even the biggest, most difficult adversity in your life.
You learn what you are made of only when things go so south that the road ahead seems bleak; you only learn when you fall down over and over again, and yet, you still rise and stand. Your resilience is how you overcome your adversity. It is the hard times that help you understand your own strengths. Remember one thing: Life may be tough, but you are tougher.
What exactly is adversity?
Adversity typically means a misfortune, a difficult or unfortunate situation, or hardship. There are six types of adversity that you may encounter in your entire life:
- Physical adversity like injuries or ill health
- Mental adversity like incurring trauma
- Emotional adversity like losing a loved one
- Financial adversity like poverty or terrible financial constraint
- Social adversity like being bullied, rejection by parents, or being abused by a partner
- Spiritual adversity, like when your faith (religious or spiritual) is failing, and you are losing the belief that everything will work out in the end
Despite the plethora of advice that we receive from self-help books, therapists, loved ones, well-wishers, or motivational speakers, overcoming adversity is a whole process where you cannot leap forward instantly. It takes time. We all are different, and just like the threshold for our pain, our coping mechanisms are also different.
Ways to overcome adversity
It’s essential to let go of your expectations and embrace change. Things have not turned out the way you expected. Let it go. Previous plans are gone, and holding onto them will only drag you down. Life is not a bed of roses; it is full of surprises and setbacks, but accepting change is necessary for personal development and resilience. Don’t expect that everything will go as planned; sometimes bad things happen that are out of your control. Such is life. But remember that setbacks are not the end of the road. Accepting change is hard, so take your time. But once you have composed yourself, wipe those tears, get up, embrace change, and move forward with determination.
1. Define the exact problem, and don’t stay in denial
What exactly is the problem? What seems to be troubling you? It is important to identify the root of the problem before we can find a solution. Define the issue that is currently causing you distress. If there are multiple problems, specify each one clearly so that you can address them individually and comprehensively. Sometimes, the solution lies within the problem. A clear mind just helps you do that.
It is also important not to be in denial for long. While denial is a stage of grief, the more you stay in denial, the more it becomes difficult to get out of it. Bad things happen to everyone, some more than others. Our job is to pick ourselves up, always. Also, sometimes we tend to make excuses. In fact, it is one of the most common responses to failure or adversity. Acknowledge your disappointment and your role in creating it, if any. It is very important to take ownership. But even if it is not your fault, putting the blame on someone else will not help you get anywhere, either.
2. Determine the extent of your problems and imagine the worst possible outcome
Go ahead and ask yourself, “What is the worst possible thing that can happen?” Be as honest with yourself as possible. You will lose out on the promotion, meaning you will not have the financial flexibility that you expected, or perhaps your relationship? But is it the end? Can you bounce back? It is important to consider the worst-case scenario in any situation. Of course, it is not a pleasant thing to think about, but it is important to be honest with yourself and face the reality of the situation. So ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that could happen if everything falls apart?
3. Change your current mindset
Your thoughts define you. It is important to remember that our thoughts have a powerful impact on our experiences. When we approach situations with a negative attitude, we often end up with negative outcomes. However, by training ourselves to view things in a more positive light, we can actually change the course of our experiences. While it is not about pretending things are different than they are, there is great value in focusing on positive self-talk and visualization. By doing so, we can set ourselves up for success and create a more fulfilling life.
4. Accept it
You may have already heard this, but acceptance is important. Don’t get me wrong; it takes a lot of mental bandwidth and huge courage to come to terms with a bad situation or a hardship, especially when it is an emotional adversity like losing a loved one. That amount of grief engulfs us completely. How do you accept that kind of grief or heartbreak? But as soon as you accept the worst possible situation, things start to slowly take a turn. Your muscles will loosen up, and you will be able to find comfort. In cases of emotional adversity, you will focus on good, happy memories of the departed loved one that you will want to hold on to move on with your life.
After identifying the worst possible outcome, it can be really beneficial to mentally prepare yourself for the possibility that it may occur, regardless of your actions. Surprisingly, accepting this can actually help you relax, clear your mind, and improve your ability to handle the situation.
5. Hold onto your sense of humor
If you don’t laugh, you will cry. Crazy talk, right? But so accurate! Laughter is always the best medicine. It is so important for your mental health. When you laugh, the hormones that trigger your stress will automatically calm down, thereby helping you to relax. And laughter helps in the healing process.
This has been very true for me. I went through an uphill battle when I lost my mother a couple of years ago. After going through all the stages of grief, which of course, took a lot of time, I started finding humor in small things like laughing while watching a comedy, a funny dog video, or remembering something funny that happened at work. That helped me tremendously. Try it!
6. Keep the faith
Don’t let fear or self-pity drag you down. Believe in yourself and your abilities, especially when faced with a difficult challenge. Your mindset can make all the difference. Believe that you will make it to the end of the tunnel and that there is light. Keep pushing forward, and don’t give up – you have what it takes to conquer any obstacle that comes your way. You are your hero.
7. Celebrate your successes
Celebrate your accomplishments, however small they may be. You deserve it after everything that you have been through. And by doing so, you empower yourself and provide yourself with confidence. By celebrating even the smallest of steps along the way, you change your behavior, and you stay motivated to carry on with your journey.
8. Find your support system
It is very important to have the right support system when overcoming adversity. Remember that the people we surround ourselves with can have a big impact on our lives. If you are constantly around negative people, it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude and achieve your goals. Instead, try to seek out friends and acquaintances who have a positive outlook on life and who support your dreams and ambitions. By surrounding yourself with positive influences, you will be better equipped to overcome challenges, however hard they may be, and achieve your full potential.
Conclusion
Overcoming adversities is not easy. But adversities make us understand who our real friends are and who truly want the best for us. Difficult situations make us persevere; they change us. For it is through hardships that we learn about our courage and how strong we truly are. We all are fighting our own battles, so in the end, be kind. I leave you with a parting thought by the great Maya Angelou: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
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