Image on someone likes you by Jasmine Carter on Pexels
Have you felt that spark before when you liked someone, maybe even felt a deep bond and attraction? You collected information from an intricate network of their social media accounts, friends (if you can contact them), coworkers (if you work together), etc. and were ready to make the first move.
The only problem?
Do they like you back?
The more you ponder over the question, the more you wonder. Like peeling back onion layers. You may magnify the dilemma with more fears- What if they reject me terribly, what if they laugh at me, what if they’re dating someone else, or what if they take advantage of my feelings? Are they playing romantic songs and thinking about me?
But despite everything it centers back to the previous question; what if they like you back? Wouldn’t it be much easier if there was a way to figure this out before you took the plunge and poured your heart out?
There’s no fixed science, but there are certain things you can look for in your potential crush, and your ‘how to tell if someone likes you’ question can get some clarity.
Psychological signs someone likes you
Sit up straight and take notice
Who knew liking someone was great for your skin? There is some research that has shown how sagging or pouching under the eyes decreased. Bright eyes and a flushed face were also seen. If your crush looks like they’re positively glowing, then they’re probably around someone they like.
A little stressed
When someone catches romantic feelings, they experience an increase in cortisol, (yep, the stress hormone). So, they might fidget, shake their legs, trip over their words or act awkward. Chances are they’re trying to calm down, by keeping themselves occupied.
Grins and smiles everywhere
Who isn’t happy to be around someone they like? Especially if they’re in love, for the first time? If they’re showing big smiles with lots of teeth, then there’s a good chance they’re into you. They like how their love interest makes them feel. Especially if the smile is ear to ear and goes beyond their mouth, reaching up to their eyes and even their forehead!
It’s all in the eye contact
Are they repeatedly looking at you, or looking for you? Frequent eye contact followed by smiles builds trust and safety. Some people are better at doing it with everyone, but the intensity and depth of the gaze is a giveaway. (There’s a fine line between creepy, direct staring and loving glances. If it’s the latter, then run.) There are many reasons and ways they could be looking, trying to be sneaky, just staring awestruck, or simply looking, waiting for a chance to talk.
Why, what, how, when and etc.
There’s so much uncertainty when you like someone and to satisfy this curiosity, they might try to gain more information. Find out more about you from your coworkers, friends, etc., or directly ask you themselves. So, if the person tends to ask many questions, either superficial or deeper, we forecast a high chance of romance in the air!
The love is in the details
After asking a lot of questions, the natural progression is that they’d remember the answers. Or at least attempt to. Did you make an offhand comment about your favorite chocolate brand, or a movie, or a mundane chore you hated doing? Do they remember and comment on it, or bring it up the next time you meet up? Bonus points if they get your favorite chocolate.
Copycats
Have you heard about the chameleon effect? People generally tend to mimic certain behavior attributes of people they’re close to and like. If they’re copying you, using certain words like you do, or small movements then yes, they’re probably fully into the conversation and into you!
Just you and me
Are they offering to spend lots of one-on-one time with you? If you’re in a friend group, do they make an effort to talk privately? Do they follow up on engagements? Initiating quality time, personal time, and intimate time is often a good indicator that they can’t get enough of you.
What do you both have in common? Decoding some strategies used by people
‘Should I just ask them and get it over with?’ You might be thinking that at some point, after scrolling through their Instagram page for the past hour. A study found 8 different ways in which someone might try to figure out if the crush is mutual. Among them, two ways were seen as the most effective. Which are to directly ask about someone’s feelings or do something that creates a deeper bond and see how they respond. Like moving closer to them or touching their shoulder and gauging how they respond. Another move was to just keep talking, maintain the existing level of interaction, and see how it goes. Are they daydreaming about you too? Only time and effort will tell.
But how do you know for sure?
Looking for these hidden, psychological signs that someone likes you can feel like trying to predict your future by decoding the movement of planets. Some of the above-listed behaviors are obvious and you may have noticed it in friends or coworkers who are committed, but it can’t guarantee results if you look for it.
We’re terribly afraid of rejection. It is also the biggest stumbling block for people looking to start a new relationship. But something curious came out of a study done in 1996. When participants were questioned about why they didn’t ask for a second date, it was because they thought it wouldn’t be reciprocated. But when asked why their counterparts did not offer a second date, they assumed it was because there was no interest from that side.
Isn’t that strange?
The best way concluded by many of these studies is to simply ask the other person out. Easier said than done.
There are ways to foster closeness with your crush instead, see if they’re compatible for you beyond the initial first attraction. To check whether this has any potential to be pursued.
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Psychologist Arthur Aron and his co-researchers came up with 36 questions to see whether he could increase closeness between two strangers. It ties into the theory of self-disclosure, which basically explains how an exchange of information (of various personal degrees) can lead to better bonds between two people. We have shortlisted some of those questions, so you can use them with your potential love interest. Be it a first date, a coworker you’re interested in, or a friend with whom you want to have a deeper connection.
1. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
2. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
3. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
4. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
5. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
6. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
7. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
8. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?
9. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
10. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Looking for signs in our potential crush feels good for a while. While uncertainty is generally bad, the rush of emotions and hormones makes us feel incredibly amazing during the initial stages.
How to tell if someone likes you? Just ask.
