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The Law of Detachment inspires you to consciously and positively part yourself from your situations, results, environment, and emotions. It reinforces the fact that your actions and reality must be independent of the outcome. In short, you continue doing what is supposed to be done, despite the impact it brings to life. Give unconditional love without expecting anything in return, commit to hard work without worrying about promotions, or stop controlling the part of your life that just doesn’t change.
Why is it challenging to practice the Law of Detachment
The Law of Detachment is one of the most beautiful, and most challenging concepts I have come across. Let me confess that I have tried making a conscious choice of detachment and have failed numerous times. Here are some of my observations in the trial process:
We are programmed to expect returns.
Unfortunately, the whole being of who we are is based on countless parameters, and the outcome of our actions is the most common one. When you do something good, like help a friend overcome a heartbreak, you would accept a ‘Thank you’ or at least an acknowledgment of your act. What if you get nothing? The problem is that we are taught to relate our self-worth, confidence, and even our identity to how we are perceived. And reversing it takes some serious unlearning.
Attachment is an overly layered phenomenon.
The law of detachment isn’t just detaching yourself from the rewards of a positive act but also renouncing your ego shift. Do you feel a pinch of pride when you are able to follow your exercise regime? When you undertake detachment practice, you let go of all the emotions, good and bad, that arise from doing or not doing an act. Detachment comes with a deep sense of ego death.
We tend to get attached to our perceived personality type.
Being recognized for your strengths or simply for who you are just feels good. If you often get compliments on how beautiful you are, chances are you are attached to your looks. It gets extremely challenging to detach yourself from something that everyone believes is your reality!
Myths on Detachment
There are numerous misconceptions about detachment. Here are some tips on what is not detachment:
Detachment is the reverse of empathy
While it may appear as though detachment leads to an emotional disconnect with loved ones, its definition is quite distinct. Detachment involves recognizing and comprehending everyone’s feelings without becoming entangled in your or their suffering. Consider this scenario: when your spouse makes a hurtful comment about your relationship, it doesn’t imply that you don’t experience the pain or anger provoked by their words. Rather, detachment entails acknowledging all emotions and consciously releasing them. Or, on the contrary, you understand that having a difficult conversation is necessary, yet you fear the potential impact on the relationship. Nevertheless, you opt to detach yourself from the outcome because that conversation must take place.
Detachment is renouncing the act
Detachment isn’t your window to inaction. Many people tend to ride on the misconception and make detachment an excuse for not making an effort. If the outcome doesn’t seem to matter, why bother trying at all? Do not attach yourself to inaction. In fact, your efforts and positive intent are imperative to your growth and learning process. Practicing detachment is taking a step towards your goals while letting go of the desire for success or fear of failure.
Detachment is for spiritual seekers
Detachment is a way of life, and not just for a select group of people. Practicing detachment in relations, work, or finances can help you regulate emotions, transform you to be a more compassionate being, and help you connect with people and understand their perspectives.
Tips to Practice Detachment
Here are some suggestions for practicing the law of detachment
1. Create your Detachment Priority List
Since detachment is a long overhaul process, begin with creating your priority list by identifying your pain points. Do you have overly stressed relations or end up in emotional turmoil after a breakup? When you learn to leverage detachment to manage your most stressful life situation or emotion, applying the theory in other areas of life becomes easy. So don’t push yourself to practice detachment every minute. Begin by practicing it in one scenario and gradually learn to habituate with it.
2. Create easy, short-term goals
Don’t be in a hurry to learn detachment. Refrain from making long-term plans and instead consider some small, attainable goals. Begin with something that seems more natural for you. Consider a setting where you are ‘ok’ with no returns. For example, begin with giving unconditional love to your plants, children, food, or pet and detach yourself from expecting anything in return.
3. Focus on the action in this moment
Remove the biggest hurdle of practicing detachment- expectations of your wishful tomorrow. When you consciously try to focus on the task at hand, you train yourself to focus on the action instead of the motive or result of it.
4. Honor everyone’s journey
Each one of us follows our distinct path, with a specific purpose in life and defined learnings. Interestingly, it is believed that we all have made (or will make) similar mistakes and have the same life learnings of love and compassion. That translates to the fact that you have committed the same blunders as the other person you keep judging them for. When you begin to understand that we are one, you begin looking at each journey with empathy and non-judgmental space. You honor everyone’s life journey, and thus, are not affected by anyone’s wrongdoing. This brings in a deep sense of acceptance of every person and their actions. It is a giant leap towards detachment.
5. Practice Divine Surrender
Let’s face it- some things in life will remain out of our control. Imagine and pray how much you possibly can; if it isn’t supposed to rain, it won’t. But more importantly, have you ever doubted if the rain is actually good for you?
More often than we realize, we ourselves are not aware of what is best for us. When you surrender completely, you let go of the obsession for a specific result and open possibilities to receive the best, something you never asked for. Surrendering is an incredible tool for manifestation!
6. Meditation
Through meditation, you develop the ability to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise. By observing them without judgment or attachment, you create a space between yourself and these experiences. This allows you to see them more objectively, reducing their influence on your overall state of being. This expanded awareness helps you detach from life’s transient ups and downs, allowing you to navigate challenges with greater clarity and a sense of inner stability.
Benefits of Detachment Practice
When you begin to adopt the law of detachment into your life, you will be amazed by numerous positive changes, including:
- Beginning with more obvious benefits, detachment will bring in stronger relationships and more financial/ professional success in your life.
- Detachment makes you incredibly grounded and mindful. You will no longer be flinched by failure or delighted by success.
- Bid goodbye to all those negative emotions. Trust me, if you practice detachment, you will need a lot of extra effort to get angry or be envious.
- Detachment is an incredible tool if you plan to break the incessant cycle of karmic effects and imbalances. Put the impact of all actions to the divine, and you free yourself from karma to a large extent.
- With detachment practice, you get an inevitable opportunity to witness and experience life in a whole new light. You will have an increased vibrational frequency and energy, inviting some unimaginable opportunities and influential people into your life.
The Bottom Line
True detachment is exceptionally challenging. Do not push yourself in this journey, and rather explore your own ways of practicing detachment. Congratulate yourself if you help someone without expecting the same behavior from the other person in a similar situation. However, be mindful if your ego kicks off while doing that and you consider yourself superior.
Detachment is doing the act for the sake of it. Let go of that desire to attain something in a particular manner, surrounded by a specific group of people, within a defined time frame. Embrace the beauty of uncertainty life has to offer.
